Have you heard of the Liebster Award? If you haven’t don’t worry. Neither had I until a week ago when an email arrived in my inbox from the lovely Vanessa of The Simpson Sisters, letting me know she had nominated me for the award. Vanessa had been nominated herself (you can read her own post about the award here) and was paying it forward, which is essentially what the Liebster Award is all about. So firstly I want to say a huge thank you to Vanessa for thinking of me!
It started with McCaw having to have surgery at the end of February to remove another eight cancerous growths. Then an Instagram friend was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Someone else had to put her dog to sleep when it was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer. And someone else has just made the hard decision to stop the chemotherapy treatment their dog was having. Throw in my own cancer scare (I’m fine, I just need another check up in six months) and suddenly life began to feel very short and fragile.
You know those days when you wake up and immediately feel overwhelmed by everything you need to do? I used to wake up feeling like this all the time. These days not so much, but yesterday was definitely a day when I did. So I thought I’d share with you how I dealt with this feeling of overwhelm, in the hope it might help if you’re feeling this way too.
A couple of weeks ago someone asked me what my thoughts were on perfectionism. I’ve been thinking about this since. More so, I’ve been thinking about whether I would call myself a perfectionist or not. Interestingly, despite my perfect handwriting, immaculate house and Type-A personality, I wouldn’t say I am. The reason for this is that I have always believed that 'done is better than perfect’. This belief has been my saving grace, in that it has stopped my perfectionist tendencies from taking over and allowed me to do things I otherwise would have never done.
Last week I wrote to my newsletter subscribers about how I was determined to start showing up for myself during 2018 and why. It must have struck a chord as a number of people reached out to say they felt the same way. So I wanted to write about it a little more in today’s blog post. For the past 44 years I have failed to show up for myself time and again. I have an innate tendency to put everyone and everything ahead of myself. What I have come to realise is that on a deeper level it is a form of self-sabotage. And it is also due to fear.
My second least favourite question (after ‘aren’t you sad you don’t have children’?) is ‘what are you doing for Christmas’? Apparently my answer of ‘nothing’ isn’t socially acceptable. Or so it seems. The person asking the question inevitably tilts their head to the side, and looks at me as if I’m a puppy that needs rescuing from the pound. At this point I silently pray they don’t invite us to spend Christmas with them and their extended family.
A couple of weeks ago I shared an article on my Facebook page about Emotional Labour. I had heard the author of the article, Gemma Hartley, being interviewed on a podcast. After listening to the episode I read her article (which I have linked to at the end of this post). While I agree Emotional Labour exists, I think it’s one of those topics that women feel they have to be united on. In doing so I believe we’ve turned a molehill into a mountain. And I fear we have started a war that men will never be able to win.
A couple of weeks ago I shared with those that receive my newsletter how I am prone to self-sabotage. It started when I was 16 years old. Six weeks out from trailing for a New Zealand gymnastic team, I 'retired gracefully' from the sport. Since then self-sabotage has played out in various ways in my life.