You know those days when you wake up and immediately feel overwhelmed by everything you need to do? I used to wake up feeling like this all the time. These days not so much, but yesterday was definitely a day when I did. So I thought I’d share with you how I dealt with this feeling of overwhelm, in the hope it might help if you’re feeling this way too.
A couple of weeks ago someone asked me what my thoughts were on perfectionism. I’ve been thinking about this since. More so, I’ve been thinking about whether I would call myself a perfectionist or not. Interestingly, despite my perfect handwriting, immaculate house and Type-A personality, I wouldn’t say I am. The reason for this is that I have always believed that 'done is better than perfect’. This belief has been my saving grace, in that it has stopped my perfectionist tendencies from taking over and allowed me to do things I otherwise would have never done.
Last week I wrote to my newsletter subscribers about how I was determined to start showing up for myself during 2018 and why. It must have struck a chord as a number of people reached out to say they felt the same way. So I wanted to write about it a little more in today’s blog post. For the past 44 years I have failed to show up for myself time and again. I have an innate tendency to put everyone and everything ahead of myself. What I have come to realise is that on a deeper level it is a form of self-sabotage. And it is also due to fear.
My second least favourite question (after ‘aren’t you sad you don’t have children’?) is ‘what are you doing for Christmas’? Apparently my answer of ‘nothing’ isn’t socially acceptable. Or so it seems. The person asking the question inevitably tilts their head to the side, and looks at me as if I’m a puppy that needs rescuing from the pound. At this point I silently pray they don’t invite us to spend Christmas with them and their extended family.
A couple of weeks ago I shared an article on my Facebook page about Emotional Labour. I had heard the author of the article, Gemma Hartley, being interviewed on a podcast. After listening to the episode I read her article (which I have linked to at the end of this post). While I agree Emotional Labour exists, I think it’s one of those topics that women feel they have to be united on. In doing so I believe we’ve turned a molehill into a mountain. And I fear we have started a war that men will never be able to win.
A couple of weeks ago I shared with those that receive my newsletter how I am prone to self-sabotage. It started when I was 16 years old. Six weeks out from trailing for a New Zealand gymnastic team, I 'retired gracefully' from the sport. Since then self-sabotage has played out in various ways in my life.
Do you remember a life without social media, smartphones, apps and notifications? This time in life is what my generation refers to as ‘the good old days’. When you had to get out of your chair to change channels on the television. Weekends were spent riding your bike around the neighbourhood. And if you wanted to speak to your friends you rang them using the phone attached to the kitchen wall.
As I start to write this post it’s 4pm on a Sunday afternoon. I’ve got half an hour before feeding and walking time at the Longley Zoo commences. I could have chosen to spend this time scrolling through social media. Or checking my emails. Or flipping through a magazine. But instead I decided to keep chipping away. The concept of chipping away is something I touched on in my last article. It’s something I’ve always done but have never had a name for. But thanks to my friend Carol I now do.